The Biggest Crush I Had Never Actually Existed: *A Correction

Photo by Edward Howell on Unsplash

In my previous blog, I implied that the phase of me having crushes on people that I don’t interact with is past me.

Then I proceeded to go to work and stare at a coworker from afar for several hours, accumulating all of our small interactions into a memory bank that I will replay over and over in my head until the next one comes along.

Listen, sometimes I write things for my own self to listen to.

I am human.

And I didn’t necessarily lie perchance. It is true I’ve never been so extreme as when I was with Luke ever again. I do, however, will fall into the curse of daydreaming scenarios and events that have or haven’t happened with someone that I am interested in.

I have been in positions where I’ve imagined whole events of us together that will have never happened knowing full well who the person is.

I have also been in positions where I just completely catfished myself because by the time I got to know them they were nothing like I imagined. And I can’t blame them for that one. My mind just goes rampart. I allowed myself to stare out the window overanalyzing our smallest interactions.

I never assume they feel the same way about me. That would be ridiculous. But, I don’t know, I guess it’s just fun to think about something else, anything else sometimes.

And you’re probably yelling at me right now saying, “Asia why don’t you just talk to them!?”

I promise you that nowadays I really try to because I genuinely want to know them, but it is harder in some cases because you don’t know when you can or how often you’ll see them.

If anything, it shows that every interaction has to count.

But if I don’t have any interactions, can someone tell me how to combat this?

My daydreaming gets me in trouble.



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Asia Monét

Asia Monét

A 20-something who stutters and trying to figure out how to deal with it on top of adulting shenanigans and discovery