Never Say This to a Person Who Stutters If You’re Fluent
Ohh boy does this one make our blood boil. I can guarantee you that every Person Who Stutters is irked by this very statement:
I stutter too!
or
It's okay, we all have a stutter, don’t we?
or
I stutter sometimes too!
If you are someone who is fluent, (if you have to question it then you probably are), this statement is offensive, point-blank. I know you probably did not mean to be intentionally offensive. Most of us understand that. You believe that it’s coming from a place of understanding or trying to connect with us. In truth, these statements are insensitive and invalidating.
Listen- language, speech, and communication are hard. The one aspect that is so foundational in how we connect with others does have its struggles. I’m not saying that none of you have had your own obstacles in this realm. It can be said as well that people do stutter/stammer. I’m not knocking that. But those are moments. It is not your everyday life.
There is a difference between someone who broke their foot vs someone who does not have a foot. That is a moment in your life where you are disabled vs not having a foot is a disabled persons’ life.
So sure, while you might have slipped up during a presentation or got nervous speaking to someone you admire, that was simply a hiccup for you. That stutter is not a part of your identity.
You don’t have moments where you’re physically afraid to talk while driving because your tick is closing your eyes. You don’t have to be afraid of losing a job over your stutter. You don’t end up ordering the same meal as your friend from the menu because you can’t say your own.
Again, I’m not saying that people don’t have their own issues as to why they might not be able to do these certain things. I’m not invalidating that. I’m saying that if you believe your statement, “I stutter too,” is trying to make you relatable to me, its not. There’s no shame in being different from me. But it is entirely different to attribute to an identity that is not yours.
Just add this to your: “Things to No Longer Say to Someone” List. Thank you in advance.
Your friendly neighborhood stutterer
