My 100th Blog
5x a week, 5 months later
It is September 2nd, and I have to tell you that because I loathe the first of the month.
As an adult, you normally think of bills and that one is definitely true. But at my ripe old age of 24, each new month is always a reminder to me of what I didn’t do the past month,
the last two months,
the last six months,
and the past year.
I try to not think of the first of the month as the glass half empty. It should be a great reset. It should be for goal setting. And I have tried so hard to apply that: to actually write goals and to look forward to what I can accomplish in the next 30 days.
My goals this month are too:
- Start job hunting again
- Stick to networking consistently
- Working out 3x a week (a lot harder to do 4 at the moment)
- Budget better
- And keep writing
- Take photos
I wanted to tell you how I felt in this 100th blog post. I wanted you to know what was going on in my mind. And while I do that more or less disguised as a topic of the blog post, I wanted to be more candid.
Right now I also feel extremely confused
I got into an entanglement recently and a part of me is mad that I might have killed it before it had the chance to bloom. Another part of me feels as though I made the right choice, but the situation from its consequences is more frustrating than it would’ve been had I not cut the cord. There’s also a question of, even if I do (do change my mind and actually pursue again), would it end up as complicated as I predicted.
I feel extremely overwhelmed with gratitude
I met up with who I can truly say is my mentor today. I did not expect the conversation to go the way that it did. I needed it. I needed it so bad. She believes in me and I need someone too. This was the reminder that I needed to keep pushing through. That this is not over. My pursuit in production is not over.
And of course this blog
It’s not like I’m getting a lot of attention writing 5 days a week. So some might ask, why keep on?
Why not?
For one, I haven’t found much difficulty coming up and writing something.
9 times out of 10 I don’t even have an idea. I just start writing. I don’t know where it will go. But this platform has allowed me to discover more of myself, my past, and better dissect my own thoughts. I can’t tell you how much I’ve learned about myself. Is this what they talk about when they say to journal because maybe I’ve been doing that wrong all these years.
So anyway, I’ll keep on until I cannot.
For all of those who have been here reading my not grammatically correct posts, thank you.
And for those who are new and those to come, thank you.
I wouldn’t call myself a writer. I don’t know what that means still. But I write. I write a lot. I write about everything and nothing. I write about myself and about my life and my worries and struggles. I write about the anger in my chest and the sadness that weighs down on my shoulders and the calluses I’ve developed to build myself back up again. And if that qualifies as being a writer?
Then thank you for reading my work.
Best,
Asia
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