i’m a different person when i’m at work
Someone get me a Snickers bar
I was working at Arclight at the time. One of my coworkers came up to me with a concerned look on their face. With a gentleness, they asked,
“Asia are you okay?”
Concerned that they’re concerned I said, “Yeah, I’m fine, why?”
“I don’t know you just seem off. Like you always have this energy.”
Almost agitated, and a little surprised, I said, “Oh well, that’s not me all the time.”
It took the rest of my shift to realize that not only do I exude specific energy at work, but it is almost an entirely different personality than the one I have once I walk out those doors.
I have a work persona.
I’ve realized that they see:
- Bubbly energetic young adult
- Always having a good time
- Charismatic
- Conversational, like will literally talk to everyone
- Funny but also a little weird
- Will inconveniently curse in front of children
- 99% sarcastic
This is what I feel like plays a role in how this persona comes to life:
- The customer service element
- Being a team player
- Straight vibes
If I have to put on a smiley face for eight hours a day then that’s what you’re going to see. If I have to be a team player then I will make the effort to put in my best work to support the team. This plays into the vibes. I would be the one to bring the vibes up with the energy if it's not already there.
So if someone does not see me 100% enthused or full of life or laughing or motivating or being positive, then I’m the one who is off. And personally, I have come to be offended by that.
Conversely, it is hypocritical of me to be offended if that is all that they think that I am.
My coworker said the other day that I was this ball of energy. I told him that is definitely not true and that once I walk out those doors I am a different person. Of course, he found that hard to believe.
I want him and everyone else to know about me that:
- I just generally put out a lot of energy at work to keep myself going
- Much more of an ambivert/introvert in general
- Does not have a lot of friends. Social anxiety prevents me from wanting to go out
- Am in fact weird but quirky :)
- Enjoys a good banter as much as I enjoy a deep conversation
I know it is probably a turn-off for those seeing who I am at work and assuming that that’s me.
I don’t know how to change that.
I also know that if you like who I am at work and we hang out outside of work that you might not like who I am or at least not expecting it.
I can only give you so many disclaimers before that happens.
I want to be me and a part of me is me when I am at work. And that is merely a fraction of a fraction. A situational me. I don’t want you to feel like I am tricking you. But if you ask why I might seem different one day, just accept it when I tell you that the other side, is also me.
