This is the first realization I discovered since being single for the last 5 years:

1. Just because they are the first available does not mean that they are meant for you

I have a list of nearly every person I have ever liked, graphed out to who I was head over heels for to a mild crush, filtered down to who I asked out, what I did to get their attention, and finally, who either rejected me or friend-zoned me.

And I gotta tell ya,

the amount of no’s is in the 97th percentile.

So fast forward to about 2 years ago. At this point I’ve graduated, a pandemic has “passed” and I’m in a new city. I haven’t been on an app since 2019.

Suddenly however I’m starting to get attention?

And like the clown I am, someone had to sit me down from saying yes to all of them.

I buckled on a few, and those stories have been told, but they left scars on me.

These men had a genuine interest, a compelling one. And although I was not as entirely compelled, I went for it

because they were the only ones in line.

But I have to remind myself that just because they are the first available does not mean they are right for you.

And that person could be blocking you from the one who is right for you.

We all crave some type of attention and I hopped on the train from the initial first taste. Throughout your time together you shouldn’t have to accept that certain things will just be the way they are, you can’t (nor shouldn’t) wait for someone to change, or have workarounds and compromises that aren’t compromises. You should be able to be and coexist and love each other through all their moments and grow together.

It is easy to be afraid that if you aren’t with that person there won’t be anyone else, but there will be, and don’t let yourself get in the way of that.