I Haven’t Told Anyone at My New Job That I Stutter
I think I am beginning to see a pattern
In an earlier blog I mentioned, I justified the reason why I decided not to disclose my stutter when I worked at Arclight until I was prepared to speak upon it. My excuse ended up being the fact that I was too far deep into this job and people already knew me too well to disclose it. And while I did mention it to some, my radius ended up being pretty small.
Fast forward to today where I am three weeks in at a new job and have not said a single word about it to anyone.
Why?
Despite me becoming more accepting, I am still grouping these two environments in a similar way.
Both have:
- a (very) large employee pool
- high volume
- fast-paced
- not a lot of employee interaction
In regards to that last bullet, Arclight did have more downtime moments where we could converse but otherwise, these are the similarities.
The way this new position brings it to another level is the fact that there is such a large employee pool and many of these people I might ever see because of our specific shifts. In addition, our interactions are so few, I barely have gotten past the introduction with many of them.
On the other hand, because of our specific shifts, those who I see on my 2–10 shift are pretty consistent. So why haven’t I told them?
I honestly feel like it’s pointless. As nice as so many of these people are, I don’t think I’ll get a lot of chances if at all, to hang out with them, let alone really sit down and talk with any of them.
And so because of that bs excuse, I feel like I could get away with it. I know I should tell my closest friends there, and eventually, I will, but I guess now I have to figure out what’s stopping me from doing that.
Starting over can be the worst sometimes.
