Dear Diary: Tues 21 Sept 2021

The beginning of the end, again.

You know these past two days I ran into..let’s call him Dill. I haven’t seen Dill since we were supposed to go hang out all those many many moons ago when I started my job. This was when times were simpler, and I was just figuring out how this whole New York thing was going to play out. For a minute, I thought he didn’t even work at the store anymore until we made eye contact on Monday.

I was surprised to see him. It was like I was being taken back to the beginning. It was I was being taken back to the before. Because all we know now is that there was a before and then there is an after. Sometimes we forget what it felt like to be in the before. Like before the pandemic. All we know of is the now, the after.

I laughed a little when I saw him. I thought to myself:

Oh, how I wish that was the extent to which the drama would unfold in the next three months.

Seeing Dill made me long for those days.

That was the same night I broke it off (again) with another guy.

Dill feels like so long ago.

So much has changed.

More people have impacted me.

The stage has changed completely.

He feels like the opening act.

Perhaps even just one line.

The show was crazier than I could have ever imagined.


A 20-something who stutters and trying to figure out how to deal with it on top of adulting shenanigans and discovery