Chase more dreams and less people
How sure are you that you aren’t doing this same thing?
So it’s 2022 and I deleted my Bumble account. To be honest, it was no longer serving me after July, but my purpose for it wasn’t actually for Bumble Date but for Bumble BFF. But alas, I found myself hopping on the other side, just to browse, and browsing turned into swiping, and swiping turned into chasing.
That is notoriously a “me” thing.
I tend to chase more than I attract
Okay, I’ll be more honest, when I say chase I am on a marathon. But imagine running a marathon at full sprint.
It’s not what you think.
What I mean is that I am the pursuer:
I am the one who normally initiates the conversation.
I am the one who forms a relationship.
I am the one who will eventually ask them out.
That is not to say I haven’t been asked out before.
But out of the 100 or so “To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before,” in my lifetime…
I’ve done most of the talking.
But chasing people is exhausting
And this is coming from a person who has asthma. I have no reason to be going so hard! And if you’ve been doing it for as long as I have with not much in return, it really starts to wear on you.
It is tiring putting yourself out there.
It is tiring getting rejected.
It is tiring having to start all over again.
Let’s not forget the number of times your self-esteem starts to lower and you begin the long spiral, “What if it’s me?”
Chasing is also a distraction
Don’t get me wrong, I love a good crush and I can talk all about how it is super fun. However, when I tend to have a crush, whether I pursue them or not, I get fixated.
I get fixated on the idea of them, of our faux relationship, on if every minute action they do towards me is a possible inflection of reciprocated feelings.
That is a lot of thinking about someone else and not myself.
If you daydream about someone else all the time when do you have the time to dream for yourself?
I’m not saying to block it out entirely, but if you find that you are longing for someone by your side rather than what is the next bucket list item to cross off your list, then perhaps dial back what should be on the forefront of your mind.
You will find that people will come into your life when you are busy seeking the best version of yourself.
As soon as you start putting in the effort in wanting to achieve and pursue what you want in your life, others will see that and come find you. It is attractive when others see that you are working on yourself and are excited about your upward-bound journey.
So don’t stalk their Instagram, don’t imagine a life that will never be with them.
Instead, create a vision board for you, imagine a life for you.
And eventually, you’ll come to find that all your dreams will come true, including seeing all the people that are now chasing after you.
Hang tight dear friend.
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